Profit up, profit down, profit up and profit down

Thursday 8 days later

Its amazing how much one can really learn in a short perod of time. I feel like a sponge.

Saying that, I feel like Im standing next to wide open Atlantic ocean with a plan to swim across to America from Europe. And I have only just tipped my toes in the water!!

I had an interesting day yesterday, actually made a bit of profit and they were not trades that were called in the trading room, but trades I took because I felt they were right. Mind you lot of the signals were pointed out by the people in the trading room, but I actually made the decisions myself to enter the trades. And I did ok!! Yes I might be trading with 50p a point, but to me to make £5 and 10 pips is amazing.

I did feel a little calmer when placing the trades too - I still stayed glued to the screens, but I didnt feel quite as anxious as I did the first day. I think this arrangement I have is great from psychological point of view - Im trading with real money, not papertrading, but since the brokerage is pretty new, they refund all my losses for the first 10 days up to £300! So I dont feel too worried, but I am still using real money and real platform.

I have also realised in this week, that every time I have entered trade for the 'wrong reasons', like fear of missing a profit and just jumping the gun - I have made a loss. I really need to curb my impulsiveness. So far (in many other areas of my life too) that has been both the biggest stumbling blok as well as on the other hand helped me tremendously to get out of a difficult decision.

Im excited and fearful at the same time. I try to curb my emotions - I think a meditation session before the markets open today might be on order!!

xx

Information overload

I can see where this all is going... :)

About 1.5 weeks later and certain things have started to make sense. I know what s&p cash means and what is a pivot. I have also fished out golden nuggets of totally unrelated information such as "70% of all days will touch yesterdays pivots" and "85% of all days take out previous days higs/lows" I have also found several interesting blogs and websites I have added to my favourites like www.alphatrends.net and Traderfeed - blog that have provided me amusement and confusion dureing the 8 hour period I have sat today glued to my computer screen.

I feel like I have just found a start of a path in the middle of an overgrown forest. I have not even cleared the entrance yet, but I can see it is there and it is leading somewhere.

I also took 3 hasty totally silly trades today. It is unbelievable when you read all that information and think "who are these stupid people that trade based on 'feel' and emotion" and the next minute you become one of them. My excuse is that the brokerage account makes up all my losses up to £300 over the first 10 business days. So I tell myself all this is, is practice how to use the brokerage account. I made a £29 loss, but am back in another trade. Also taken as hastily. hehe!

But at the same time its been VERY interesting to notice how I feel when I actually am in a position. I dont think any amount of paper trading can prepare you for the emotion of placing your first live trade. I sat there, staring at every single tick on one minute timeframe and as soon as I was 1 pence down, I panicked! I had an urge to keep flicking in and out the different timeframes every few minutes and I had my eyes glued on my profit/loss sheet on the brokerage accout. So basically forgot every single rule there ever was. And if that wasnt enough, I placed the trade without stop loss in a haste. Unbelievable! I never thought I would be like that.

Anyway - I do feel like I have learned a LOT today. Adn I suppose that is not a bad thing is it!!

In the beginning there was... confusion!

I have just completed my first 4 days as a trader!! I cant believe it still and, as expected my brain is fried like a frying pan and I have annoyed the other forum members with unbelievably simple questions. Only used Monopoly money as yet, but made 30points on S&P cash the other day (God that makes me sound like a pro!!)

This has been very long coming. I attended my very first trading course in 2006 with high hopes and dreams of this new 'get-rich-quick' idea I came up with. I thought all I needed is to attend the course and off I pop and fill my account with more money I can ever dream of. Well, the reality is quite different, as Im sure all of you know!

Reality is procastination, feeling tired, all the cleaning that you have not been bothered to do, sudden need to sleep or eat and all those myriad of excuses you make. But all in all it is just a mask for one single emotion - fear. Oh fear - ones best friend and a foe. Follows you everywhere, sits on your shoulder whispering sweet nothings such as 'you wont make it' and ' you are not good enough'. You must love his persistence. And too often he wins. Well, he won for 4 years.

But not anymore.

I have done everything the wrong way, but it seemed the only way for me. Quit the well paid easy job, dont enough savings, borrow money from boyfriend to buy another course and rights to enter a trading room and be very unprepared. I am between a rock and a hard place. The only place is to move forward. There is no going back since there are no bridges anymore. They were not just burned, they were bommed to millions of shreds with buckets of TNT.

Anyway, I hope you can be with me on this journey. This will be interesting, but, as ever, I remain an eternal optimist. I can do it!!