Dear Diary.... And so on :)
I have taken some drastic measures since last time.
Number obe is that I have started counselling with a qualified psychotherapist. This on its own has made a MASSIVE difference to my general outlook on life and hence obviously to my trading. I was getting to the point with everything (not just to do with trading, but to do with my other business too) that I knew I cannot get myself out of the negativity alone. You know that negative hamster wheel of thoughts just feeding itself and making it spin faster and faster and those thoughts just getting more and more ingrained and slowing you down to almost a halt!
So like I said dealing with some underlying issues of self worth with a person who is totally impartial and neutral ash been an amazingly liberating experience. I really recommend it to ANYONE!
I have now put a framework in place on my future 3 months trading education and I have been also getting up much earlier at 6.30am to get to the markets by about 8am. And I have spent as much of my day as possible just in the trading forum and chatroom I belong to and at the same time trying to do a bit of backtesting and learning new strategies from the people in the room.
Also one of the BIGGEST differences has been backtesting. I know I was told about a million and one times that backteting is the most essential thing one can do and I still managed to ignore that advice for a quite a few months in the beginning of my journey. But now I have finally done it, it really helps with the psychology, makes it easier to just simply SEE the setups and gives you confidence and clear numbers and stats you can trust on. If you are trading and not backtesting shame on you!! You are missing on one of the MOST valuable tools there is in the trading world. Yes its timeconsuming, but oh so worth it!!
So look out for this space! Things are finally looking up for me - even at a pace of a super slow snail - but they are moving and this time to the right direction!!
Tuesday 15 February 2011
Monday 10 January 2011
Psychology, psychology, psychology
What do the people in the know say is the most important think to master in trading?
PSYCHOLOGY!!
And as expected - inevitably the hardest!
So what I have done is taken the bull by the horns and I am now starting counselling with a therapist. It is amazing to read the previous post from July and I am still in exactly the same dilemma. Still stuck, still not doing what I know I need to do and if I do take action, I tend to do something that leaves the proverbial handbrake on and the vehicle loaded with "great intentions" moves very slowly and then comes to a sudden stall.
The distractions take many forms, such as cleaning the house, needing to walk the dogs or something in the internet I absolutely must read and research at that time. Also I have a new thing - taking in foster dogs from a dog charity. Yes, in itself a very noble and great thing to do, but not so when that is something I use as a self distracting technique.
So, hence the therapy.
I have now seen three different therapists and I have one more to see until I make a decision on who to go with. All three very different and have different things to offer, so I need to make a decision which type of issues I want to focus on and with what kind of therapist.
I am excited and looking forward to the process. It has been sad watching myself ruining all the good efforts I put in. But one thing is for sure - I will keep going! It is now too late to change my mind - well I suppose I could go back to a "job", but I think I would rather die...
It is very interesting why we do this to ourselves. I think lack of will power certainly plays a part, but I dont think one can rely on willpower alone in something that clearly has its roots much deeper in ones psyche. I think I just dont accept that I can one day be something when all of my family tries / tried its hardest to live as small life as possible.
My parents visited over the Christmas holidays and my mum said to me when we passed GSK headquarters in London "it wouldve been so much easier if you had just stayed there". (My Thrid university year was spent working for themas an industrial placement). EASIER??? Easier my ass!! I wouldve been even more depressed and felt like a living dead! A number on a paper. An average person doing an average job. living in the "real world".
So no - trading it is! And I love it! And Im sure I will be loving it even more soon when I actually get better to control my own emotions.
Until then, kiss and goodbye xx
PSYCHOLOGY!!
And as expected - inevitably the hardest!
So what I have done is taken the bull by the horns and I am now starting counselling with a therapist. It is amazing to read the previous post from July and I am still in exactly the same dilemma. Still stuck, still not doing what I know I need to do and if I do take action, I tend to do something that leaves the proverbial handbrake on and the vehicle loaded with "great intentions" moves very slowly and then comes to a sudden stall.
The distractions take many forms, such as cleaning the house, needing to walk the dogs or something in the internet I absolutely must read and research at that time. Also I have a new thing - taking in foster dogs from a dog charity. Yes, in itself a very noble and great thing to do, but not so when that is something I use as a self distracting technique.
So, hence the therapy.
I have now seen three different therapists and I have one more to see until I make a decision on who to go with. All three very different and have different things to offer, so I need to make a decision which type of issues I want to focus on and with what kind of therapist.
I am excited and looking forward to the process. It has been sad watching myself ruining all the good efforts I put in. But one thing is for sure - I will keep going! It is now too late to change my mind - well I suppose I could go back to a "job", but I think I would rather die...
It is very interesting why we do this to ourselves. I think lack of will power certainly plays a part, but I dont think one can rely on willpower alone in something that clearly has its roots much deeper in ones psyche. I think I just dont accept that I can one day be something when all of my family tries / tried its hardest to live as small life as possible.
My parents visited over the Christmas holidays and my mum said to me when we passed GSK headquarters in London "it wouldve been so much easier if you had just stayed there". (My Thrid university year was spent working for themas an industrial placement). EASIER??? Easier my ass!! I wouldve been even more depressed and felt like a living dead! A number on a paper. An average person doing an average job. living in the "real world".
So no - trading it is! And I love it! And Im sure I will be loving it even more soon when I actually get better to control my own emotions.
Until then, kiss and goodbye xx
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